Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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