So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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