I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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