would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I lost the right to judge tonight
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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