She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
