Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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