Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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