have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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