im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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