How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am available for nakedness
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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