I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
