I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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