Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You can't motorboat a personality
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
