Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
