somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
