so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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