If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Acid is not a monday night drug
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
