She said her name was "party"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
