Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
