no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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