she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
