hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize