Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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