we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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