I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
