East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
