Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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