There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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