she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
