So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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