I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Rumble strips road head = magical
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
