either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
