No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
