Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
