Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
