i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize