My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
