Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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