Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
