You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
