There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
