she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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