I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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