haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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