Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
