I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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