So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
