Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
