I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
