just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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