I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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