That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
