Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize