I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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