my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
