"it" just moved
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
try to milk me bitch
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